A Perfect Christmast!

Oh shit. No, no, no. This was not supposed to happen.  These were the thoughts going through my head as I looked at the blackened and burnt turkey. I heard the smoke alarm going off which meant the firefighters would be here very soon. That would not be the worst thing, since I loved firefighters. But it would be super embarrassing on my first Christmas as part of the Thompson family

Scott and I had decided to host our families for our first Christmas as a married couple and I had volunteered to do the turkey. Okay, so I burn water and have never had success in the kitchen, but hell, I had a recipe. Scott had made all the fixings and I’d made a salad. We bought dessert. So all I needed to do was make a turkey. How hard could that be? Apparently, very hard. I had not only ruined the turkey, but set the smoke alarm off.
How had I ended up in this mess? It had all started off innocently enough a few weeks earlier.

Two weeks before Christmas

“Darlin’, the decorations in our home look amazin’. Ya did a great job decoratin’. I see ya put the rest of the presents under the tree. Are mine there too?” Scott asked with a twinkle in his eye.

I sighed happily. I was enjoying how everything was for once working out around the holidays for me. Usually, I dreaded Christmas. It was just my Mom and I and she would bemoan the fact I wasn’t married and having babies. We both would be missing my Dad— okay, well I would be. My Mom would be missing the familiarity of the three of us, and in between Christmas and New Year’s I would enjoy getting durnk with my friends, but come New Year’s Eve, I would be the one bemoaning my single status. It’s not that I wanted or needed marriage. It would just feel lonely going it alone. Until Scott, my new husband, I actually never thought I would marry. I’d had more flings than I cared to remember, but couldn’t open up my heart to anyone after my last serious boyfriend, Rick Longo, had broken my heart.

As a matter of fact, I’d sworn off men, then I’d met Scott on a spring vacation in Cancun, Mexico. It had changed the whole trajectory of my life and here I was a year later with him, happily married, about to celebrate our first holiday together, okay second after Thanksgiving .I’d survived my first huge American Thanksgiving, thanks in part to my sister-in-law’s Annabella and Barb who had briefed me on the ins and outs of the Thompsons. Barbara and Derek, her fiancée, hosted Thanksgiving. Thank God! I learned a lot about what was expected and got to eat and drink to my hearts’ content, though of course I helped Barb and her mother do the dishes afterwards. Annabella had started dating someone in the summer and they’d gotten quite serious. They had moved in together much to Ma and Pa Thompson’s embarrassment and had offered to host Christmas, but Scott was having none of it.

“Val and I want to take our turn. Come on over for a Christmas dinner.”

“I’ll cook the turkey.” I blurted out without fully thinking it through. Unfortunately, that was often my M.O. when I was nervous. You could hear a pin drop, but it was too late. The cat was out of the bag and now I had to follow through.

That day though Scott had finished his holidays shopping and I’d wrapped the last of my presents and put them under the tree.

“Hey cowboy. Thanks. So other than our dinner next weekend, it looks like the holiday prep is all done. Want to come over here and celebrate. “I said in my most sexy voice.

Scott exhaled sharply. “Ooh, darlin’. Ya took the words right out of this Texan’s mouth. I’m comin’ on over.” And in seconds he crossed the length of the living room to stand right in front of me and pull me into his arms for a long passionate kiss.

After some heavy making out we barely made it to the bedroom where we finished off the celebrations. It was bliss as sex always was with Scott and it was getting nowhere near old even after a year of married life. We ordered in takeout that night, curled up and watched a movie, and ended the night with more cozy lovemaking.

The next two weeks proceeded with the usual work, chores and holidays excitement. I worked form home as a senior editor for

fashion magazine and penned my own books on the side, so I didn’t have an official Christmas party. No matter. I flew in my girlfriends for a weekend and we celebrate the week before Christmas at a great cozy Thai restaurant in downtown Dallas with laugher, drinking and catching up. We went dancing afterwards, and on the Monday when they left, I looked forward to the countdown to Christmas. The only thing making me nervous was the fact that I would be in charge of cooking the massive turkey for the whole family.

“Darlin’. There’s still time to try somethin’, er less ambitious. Let me do it darlin’. I know ya don’t want to ask my sisters, but maybe ya Momma can bring it? I’m happy to do it, but it may be too much for ya.”

“No, Scott. A promise is a promise. I can’t go back now.” I protested flushing in embarrassment. I realized I was in over my head, but as a stubborn woman, knew I could not go back now.

“I’ll do it.”

“Okay darlin’, but lets’ have an, uh, back up plan in case. “ Scott flushed looking nervous for the first time.

“Scott, Thompson, are you saying you don’t think I could pull off making ONE turkey if I follow a recipe? You’re making the potatoes and salad, and desert. Barb is breaking appetizers. Anna is bringing another desert and a fruit platter. Come on now, I can handle making the turkey.”

“Fine darlin’. I trust ya.” He smiled brightly and not another word was spoken about ti.

Now with a week to go I started researching recipes. I found the one I thought was the easiest and bough the biggest Turkey I could find. I knew that would be enough to feed everyone and then some for that whole turkey joke about leftovers for weeks. I dutifully defrosted it for 4 days and then Christmas morning after Scott and I woke up, make love, showered and had brunch, I went about assembling the spices and marinade for the turkey which I’d be putting in at noon so it could cook the required six hours and be ready for our Christmas dinner at 6. Everyone was due to come over at 5 for appetizers.

Scott cooked in the early afternoon and all his things were ready. He was going to go and watch tv and chill when his mother called with a problem they were having with the electrical panel that had caused a power outage. Scott was handy with stuff like that, an as it was Christmas Day and they would not be able to get an electrician , he went over to see what he could do to fix it, or else, gulp, he may invite them to sleep over at our place. Now, don’t’ get me wrong. I loved my in-laws, but I was hoping to unwind after everyone went home, not have to clean and decompress with visitors in the house.

So Scott went over to their place leaving me to put the turkey in and finish setting the tale and décor in the dining room myself. Before I knew it, it was 4 o’clock. I’d gone to shower and that’s why when I came out and smelled the burning smell, I had not noticed until it got more pungent as I neared the kitchen. And then as I saw thicker smoke rising I screamed. This melted right into the smoke alarm going off. I tried calling the alarm co to tell them there was not fire, just smoke. Don’t bother the cute firemen on Christmas Day, but even though I began opening windows and doors to ventilate, still they arrived about 10 minutes after the alarm went off.

This was an advantage of us living so close to the police and fire station. So here I was, mortified, burnt turkey, house smoky and guests arriving in two hours with 4 firemen and myself to greet them and that’s when Scott came up the driveway. His pale face said it all, though he remained calm and poised as always.

“Val, darlin’, what’s goin’ on?” He asked coming in. “Are ya okay?”

“Scott, cowboy.” I ran to him sobbing into his arm.

The firemen looked from one to the other not sure what to do. This was a first world problem. But also stressful as I had no turkey and a lot of explaining to do.

“I burned the turkey! I’m so sorry! I took on more than I could handle. “I’m a colossal Christmas failure!” I wailed.

One of the firemen cleared his throat. “I have no clue how to cook turkey, I leave it to my wife, but her brother is the one who makes it normally ad his wife does not like to cook. As long as non one was hurt, just go to your plan B.” he said.

I started to cry harder. “I have no plan B! Oh Scott, what are we going to do?”

Scott smiled a little nervously and cleared his throat. “Val, darlin’. Don’t hate me. I was just thinkin’ that this would be plan B in case ya had, er, issues with the turkey.”

“You never believed I could do did you?” I scowled.

The other fireman cleared his throat. “Listen folks, all seems to be alight here so we’ll be on our way. Leave the windows open another hour and by then the smoky air will have cleared. Merry Christmas to ya and ya families!”
We wished them the same and they left.

“Val dalrin’, its’ just that ya track record with cookin’ is not strong. I wanted ya to try and I admired ya for it, but in case, I asked Anna if she could come over a little earlier with a turkey.”

“And if ours turned out?” I scowled both loving and hating him at the same time. He had a backup plan which was amazing, but he didn’t’ think I could do it, which made me mad.

“Then we’d have lots of leftovers.” He grinned “Okay, darlin’ I know how ya feel. I didn’t mean…”

“NO, you don’t know how I feel. Look, just because I can’t cook doesn’t mean I didn’t want to try and start new traditions now that we’re married. It’s not funny. I’m a screw-up. I started to cry, my mascara running .Damn waterproof my ass!

Scott took me in his arms and cooed into my hair. “Val, darlin’ I admire the hell out of ya for tryin’ to do somethin’ challengin’ for ya. I never would have had the guts. I just wanted ya to have a backup plan in case things get dicey. She and Brett are comin’ over together earlier like at 5 to set up so we’re ready for 7.”
I looked at Scott grateful and mortified all in one.

“I just feel like I’ve let you down and myself.”

“Dalrin’. Ya decorated this place beautifully, bought the gifts, set a beautiful table. Who cares if the turkey didn’t turn out? We go to plan B. Now listen, there are lots of things ya do right. I can name one right now that we don’t’ have time for but later on.” Scott’s voice got husky as he leaned in and nibbled on my ear.

“Okay, cowboy, you made your point. “  My voice was flushed with excitement as I pushed his hands away. “We need to go and get ready for our guests, and the earlier ones coming to save my butt.

“Our butt dalrin’, but don’t’ worry. Ya’ll just own Anna one.” Scott winked and swatted my rear.

I rolled my eyes and swatted his rear back before running up the stairs to our bedroom

“Last one to finish getting ready cleans up the whole kitchen” I yelled out in a singsong voice.

I never heard Scott running faster in his life.

Anna and Brett arrived forty-five minutes later and helped us carve the turkey and then we all relaxed with drinks as one by one the guests arrived. My mother was the first, followed by the Thompsons and then Barb and Derek. It ended up being a magical Christmas and I felt that in spite of the way it started, thanks to Scott’s love and the rest of his family, we truly experienced the perfect Christmas. This reformed love cynic couldn’t ask for anything more. I couldn’t wait to see what New Year’s Eve would look like. The only thing I knew I would NOT be doing, is volunteering to do any more cooking. I knew where my talents lay and I planned to stay in my comfort zone from that Christmas onwards.